“Stop This Train”
Time, one of the only constants in our lives, never seems to work exactly how we want it to. It’s often either too fast or too slow; those in-between moments seem to be the most remembered because they are “just right.”
I walked into AP US History one day, laughing with a close friend, and sat down. Our teacher greeted us and then talked about our homework. Then she stopped, looked around, and allowed a slight smile to creep onto her face. She seemed almost incredulous as she said, “Class, we have seven weeks left of the semester.”
I stopped, drew in a breath. Had I heard her correctly? This is why you need to get more sleep, I said to myself. You’re going crazy.
The rest of the class seemed to have the same reaction as I, in varying intensities. Ms. D nodded, and that same incredulous smile became a proud one.
It’s easy to become concerned when one is given a quantity of something. Seven weeks, forty-nine days total (respectively), thirty-five school days (approximately), 1,176 total hours (roughly). Then another semester, which could move even faster than the last one…summer will follow this, and we all know that summer usually speeds by. And after summer, what happens? We’ll join the ranks of high school students once more (minus a beloved friend, who will have graduated).
“Seems like nothing is black and white anymore/ Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder/ It’s kind of tough getting older…” (Colbie Caillat)
“Stop this train/ I want to get off and go home again/ I can’t take the speed it’s going in/ I know I can’t/ But honestly, won’t someone stop this train?” (John Mayer)**
“We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.” (John F. Kennedy)
Needless to say, I felt the full shock of her statement (and perhaps more of a shock than was intended, since I am inclined to sentimentality). To me, the speed at which my life’s train was moving seemed dangerously akin to light speed. And as I know from watching Star Wars IV and V (for the first time) last weekend, there’s no turning back after one reaches light speed.
Time is the problem in this situation. I feel as though I do not have enough of it anymore. (On a quick side note, this is amusing to me because for the first sixteen-or so-years of my life, I was constantly anxious to “get older”).
So what is the solution? As of right now, when this realization is still fresh in my mind, I have determined to make the most of my time left at home, for I know “there is a time for everything” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). No matter how much I want to “stop this train” and freeze time, it will still go at the same speed. I can’t change that, so I need to accept it. (Those of you who know me well must be laughing right now, because you know that I have a difficult time accepting the fact that some things cannot be changed).
“Had a talk with my old man/ Said, ‘help me understand’/ He said ‘turn sixty-eight, you renegotiate/ don’t stop this train/ don’t for a minute change the place you’re in/ and don’t think I couldn’t ever understand…I’ve tried my hand….honestly, we’ll never stop this train.’”
I listened to this (and read the lyrics) and thought that it was something my own dad would say. It’s good advice, however formidable. Plus, the future is still something to look forward to. Just because I don’t want to leave the comfort of the present does not necessarily mean that the future will be awful. “Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26), and I know he is right. John F. Kennedy (quoted above) is also right: we need to use time as an opportunity.
Remind yourself with me: this train of life is moving at this speed for a reason. God has wonderful things planned for us, each at its appointed time, even though we do not always like that or understand it.
“’Cause now I see, I’ll never stop this train…” (John Mayer)
** I selected this song as the frame of this blog post because it really resonated with me. I do not know what John Mayer is like (what his beliefs are), and I have heard a lot of mixed answers to this question. So here’s my disclaimer: I like the song, and am not familiar enough with the singer to make a decision on that front. Thank you in advance to my readers for understanding this. Here’s the link to the song if you want to listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BTzNX5OMN4
- Jessica S.
